I’m married. Not sure how. I’m a pretty shit person to be with. Here’s why:
In 2013 I decided to stop eating and lost 20kg in a couple of months. My hair fell out.
“Hey babe, I’ve just booked flights to China for a couple of weeks. Can you water the plants?”
Basically a Cat
Maybe I want 100% of your attention, maybe I’ll scratch your eyes out if you touch me. You don’t know which. Neither do I.
Too Damn Honest
“You smell bad. Go take a shower.” “Yeah, you sort of do have man boobs.”
Impulsive as Fuck
*Walks into kitchen with shaved head*