The Balancing Act

I live on the blade
of a double-edged sword.
Which way will I lean?
Which way will I fall?

I move with the staid,
The middle, the main.
I have some to loose,
But still some to gain.

My life has been steady.
I’ve never known need,
But man, fifty shades of fucked up
has nothing on me.

There is no explaining
this putrid disdain
of a life so uplifting,
A life so mundane.

My house is a home,
But my body’s a shell.
I live in a carcass.
My body, my hell

Greying, decaying,
Never enough.

I know I don’t have it as bad as so many,
But knowing that knowledge don’t make me feel better

when I’m hurting and shrinking

and heavy and starving

and hating and sinking

and cold to the core,

On the wrong side of my double-edged sword.

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